Having 9 children has given us a lot of time to watch our children fall in love. Sometimes it is smooth and seamless adding another child. Other times it takes a little more work and intentionality.
One thing that we did as we added more children to our family is to talk about it at the dinner table, at prayer times, and during play time. Who do you think God will bring into our family? What will they look like? What toy do you think will be their favorite?
In a lot of ways this helps give your children who are already in your home a part in the adoption process. Although growing up, they may not have always understood fully what was going on, they knew bringing home another child was exciting. Making special trips to the store as a family with your children and allowing them to pick out items for their sibling. Including them in conversations about how fun it will be to have another sibling. That now they got to be a huge help to you in caring for the next child.
Making sure they know that another child doesn't mean they are not wanted, but instead that they got to move into the "older child" position. This is where you have to be careful to read your child. In all the hustle and bustle of bringing home a new baby/child what can I do to make them feel special?
Sometimes we divide the children and spend time with just one child or just a couple of the children to make sure they know they are heard and loved. It doesn't have to cost money - just simple errands with them, a walk, or maybe it includes a special bowl of ice cream that you share together.
The reality of siblings falling in love is a reality. Oh yes, I will guarantee there will be arguments, after all they are siblings. The love outweighs all of those because when you catch them whispering with flashlights in the blanket fort, or laughing together at a secret they are keeping, or holding hands as they run together to play outside.....there is no greater love that bubbles up in a parent's heart!
It is such an honor to watch your children fall in love and grow up best friends.