How to Survive "The Adoption Wait" Over The Holidays
It's about to get real.....maybe it already has for you. You went to family member's home over Thanksgiving and you got the 3rd degree about how the adoption is going. You were gracious in your answer, but inside you were crumbling becausee "the wait" gets super hard when Christmas and New Year's comes around.
Why? Because you are around family reminded that your newest family member isn't here yet. Just the thought of that stings. Trust me I have been there before. Wishing I had my next child in my arms and aching when they are not there. It hurts when others say oh it won't be long now. In reality when the Holidays are happening it seems like an eternity no matter what!
As a momma who really doesn't do well at the waiting I have some ideas to help encourage you through this tough season. Things I have done out of my heartache.
1) My first piece of advise is to find support. I don't mean people who are well wishers I mean people who get it! Be in a FB group, but a real life momma group with people who truly have been there can be even better. Those who can really encourage you through those especially hard moments and days.
2) Focus on your marriage, your children, family, and friends. HA! That sounds easy enough but any mother who has had to wait more than a minute to be matched or bring home their child knows this is crucial and important to survive. So try to focus at least as much as you can on the most important things in life.
3) Speaking of focusing on relationships- how about your most important relationship? For me doing an intesive Bible reading plan and spending some good time in scripture always left me feeling the most comforted! For some doing this as a group or a couple is even better! Press into HIM and highlight every scripture you feel applies to your life or adoption.
4) Take all the time now to apply to grants and fundraise. All that work can help you find meaning in the wait. You feel like you are actually doing something for your child because you are.
5) How about tacking all those projects that need to be done around the house and call it early nesting. You know the jiggly door handle or the room that needs reorganizing. Painting or clearing out that junk drawer.
6) Take special time to pray scripture over the birth family wherever they are (God already knows). Pray for their needs, their faith walk, and their lives right now.
7) Learn a new skill you have thought about before or create and do at least a couple of things off your "bucket list". Sometimes just dreaming about things can help ease your mind.
8) Do a home made gift for your child or birth family. Things with meaning behind it are so valuable and in the details of doing the adoption sometimes it can be hard to do those.
9) Go on a "baby moon"- mini vacation before you are matched knowing that this will give you time away to focus on each other as a couple or even taking your family. Whichever this can provide a good release and great focus time.
10) Journal about it! Either write to your child specifically about your prayers for them or scriptures you were praying over them. Blog publically about your journey because you never know who else needs to hear what you have to say as an encouragement. Create a private page for just you, family, and friends who support you. There is something about writing everything out that can help you personally as you feel the intensity of the journey.
From a mom who has felt "the wait" over many Holiday seasons and cried and yearned for children to be home.